Book Review - Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race

Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race - by Reni Eddo-Lodge

I’m a little behind on Our Shared Shelf (OSS) book club reading.  Do you know about OSS? It’s the online book club founded by Emma Watson for Goodreads members.  I’m always aware of the books being selected but I’m not always prioritizing them. This is partly due to their popularity thus making it harder to get from the library and not usually on the book sale shelves.  But I do add them to my want to read list, sometimes put holds on the book at the library, and when I can I do read them. I’m pretty introverted so I don’t always join in the online discussions on the books but sometimes I’ll peruse what is written and appreciate the different perspectives other readers have.

Here is my opinion on this book selection -

Rating:  I gave 4 stars on Goodreads

This was an amazing book and I will definitely recommend it to people.  There are two main reasons I didn’t give it 5 stars. 1. The flow - the first half felt like a different writing style to the second half and I felt one was stronger than the other (more details on this below).  2. I wanted more out of the last part of the book; more context - it kind of picked up the blog style writing where I felt like we were only getting a piece of something bigger.

The beginning of the book was somewhat hard for me to get in to.  I think the book I read before may have had something to do with that but also the beginning was very full of history and statistical information reading like a textbook.  I was never good at reading textbooks.

I appreciated learning the history, recognizing its uniqueness and acknowledging I don’t even know that much about the American racial history.  

I have always acknowledged my place of privilege in my upbringing understanding race has been a factor.  Growing up in a neighborhood with one black family made me question why there was not more diversity.

The book then turns to include a more personal story.  I appreciated her openness and honesty. I enjoyed reading the book more when it became relatable.  

I love that I learned more about structural racism and from Reni’s perspective.  Admitting that in many ways I am ignorant to what is bigger, what is unconscious, what others feel and experience.  I am white and I cannot change that, but I can learn how to better recognize what that means.

Being women, we are constantly at a disadvantage.  Race is another factor and I do not deny black women are equal in our society to white women.  Luckily, I live and work in an area where there is more equality among women despite race, but we only have to walk out the door to see otherwise.  

On page 178, Reni stated, “In our gender relations, ‘meat’ strips women of basic bodily autonomy, asserting that we are only ever on the menu, and never at the table”.  This resonated with me. In fact, I recently had a conversation that very much aligned to this statement. I’m tired of being on the menu, or cooking the meal, or serving the meal, gosh darnit I want a damn seat at the table already.  

The current feminist movement is so hard for many to grasp.  Myself included. I think depending on our circumstance we are shaping the movement to our frame of mind.  We are not on a united front and thus many are opposed due to their lack of understanding. Reni defined as, “feminism at its best, is a movement that works to liberate all people who have been economically, socially and culturally marginalised by an ideological system that has been designed for them to fail” (p. 181).  This is how I see it. Man, women, adult, child, poor, disabled - when people do not have the same access it hurts our society’s core. People argue with me all the time that if the marginalized worked harder they could get out of that situation. But it’s never that easy. A young adult who works their butt off to get in a good school, gets scholarships, gets good grades, they still do not have the same opportunities as their counterparts who may have trust funds to help support them.  Buying a house is a lot harder when you don’t have family money to help with a down payment. It’s not to say that people should be penalized for having money, or those that don’t have it should get handouts, it’s just about recognizing the privilege people live with and the impact of living without that privilege.

Definitely a conversation starter this book and I appreciate that transparency the author provided.  Thought provoking and inspiring.

Disclaimer: These are just my opinions and this is not a sponsored post.  And shout out to the Denver Public Library for which allowed for my reading pleasure.