 A bit of a disclaimer here - I’m not actually going to post any of these recipes. At least not now. This Christmas, life was just too much of a whirlwind to be organized enough for everything. I made the most of what I could and did the best that I could to enjoy the holiday for myself, to share with others, and to spend time with family. In some ways I feel I failed at each but in other ways I recognize the balance.
What Christmas meant to me growing up… When I was younger, it always seemed my dad’s birthday (the 23rd) was separate to the holidays, but now that I am older it is as if that is the kick off to the holidays and it just goes nonstop. Christmas eve we would always gather at my grandparents with the whole family. All cousins, which as it turned out there were 12 of us and pretty much one born after the other so that we could almost just line up by age. My grandmother would cook amazing food from scratch and more often than not she would make us some of our gifts. We each had a bag with our name on it and it would get filled with presents. We’d draw names for each other to buy for. It was a magical night as a young kid enjoying Christmas Eve as its own holiday. Christmas Morning we would wake up early, excited for what was to come. We’d wake others up in the house and we’d start digging into our stockings, usually just dumping them upside down onto the floor. My grandmother always made the best cinnamon rolls with maraschino cherries and pecans. We’d heat them up and enjoy them in the morning while opening gifts. We’d go around each opening one gift at a time, sharing it, passing it around, talking about it. We appreciated much more than just the thought or the gesture but the experience that came with it. Christmas brunch was one of my favorite meals of the year. We either ate after the presents or sometimes we’d break in the middle of presents to eat if it was ready. My mom would make an amazing egg souffle and cheesy grits. For a while I continued this tradition, but at some time I became lazy or something and the egg souffle turned into just baked eggs with cheese and bread and whatever else.  We would linger with gifts and coffee and champagne and leftovers and just relax and enjoy the morning. Unless we needed to go to church. Some years we went Christmas morning, other years we went to midnight mass. It was always pleasant and peaceful. This year was bound to be different but I aimed to achieve at least some familiarity. First, the child’s mystery illness. Her appointment on the 16th, led to a follow up visit and some phone consultations the following week. We still were trying to adjust to some normalcy despite continued fevers, hives, and discomfort.  Then instead of celebrating my dad’s birthday on his birthday, we met for dinner the night before. Great to see my aunts and uncles and catch up with them. The reason we met the night before, was because one of my aunt and uncles was celebrating Christmas with their family and grandchildren the next day. They ended up insisting that Cecilia join them in this celebration, which worked out well for me since between work and doctors appointments I had done little shopping and still needed to buy several gifts. So after working on the 23rd, I dropped her off for dinner and hit the shops with the crowds of other last minute shoppers with the goal in mind of spending Christmas Eve baking. Last minute call with Cecilia’s grand parents on her dad’s side inviting us out to lunch on Christmas Eve meant that my plan of baking all day was now shot. I stayed up late on the 23rd trying to bake what I could. Things did not turn out as I planned but they did turn out! After a nice lunch with her dad’s side of the family we headed to my dad’s for Christmas Eve dinner. I was in charge of dessert for Christmas and figured I would bring dessert for Christmas Eve as well. I planned these desserts with my dad in mind trying to think of what he would enjoy. Christmas Eve we made a gluten free chocolate cake and turned it into an ice cream cake with Halo Top vanilla ice cream. I left Cecilia in charge of decorating as she is much more artistic than I am with piping frosting. She made a beautiful festive wreath. The ice cream cake tasted wonderful, however, I could have used one or two more pints of ice cream. Lesson learned for next time (future post…).
Christmas time is when we started making macaroons. It started with making them for her middle school teachers and staff. We made red and green ones and crushed candy cane ones and it spurred our quest to perfect, er, better attempt, making them. Since then they have improved over the years, but never when I rushed them. These ended up being rushed. We made raspberry cookies with a lime frosting and while they didn’t look great, they were at least edible. Determined to do better we ending up making more on Boxing day that did turn out somewhat better.  The star dessert I think was the cheesecake. My first attempt at a real cheesecake and not a quick easy cheesecake. This was a lot of ingredients, a lot of focus, and a lot of details. I added some of the raspberry sauce to the top to make it look more festive. It tasted divine Worth every bit of effort. This may be a new goto for future occasions.
I saved the gluten free cinnamon rolls for last in case I didn’t have time to make them. But I did end up having time and they turned out pretty well. I didn’t go all out like my grandmother’s, but discovered this is a recipe that I could adopt to be more like her’s. So I will make again, and next time with more butter, cinnamon, sugar, pecans, and maybe even cherries.  So maybe the grits turned out a bit undercooked, and my baked eggs a bit burned from waiting for the grits to cook, overall the brunch wasn’t awful. Not my best. Most likely not my worst. And definitely not bad considering all the running around we did (put more than 300 miles on my car those few days!) And apparently Santa was busier than usual as well. Cecilia at some point began asking him every year for brownies and he would make them and put them in a box and wrap it up with ribbon and place under the tree. This year the brownies didn’t quite taste the same and he was too busy to wrap them and instead just left them in the pan on the counter. Sometimes even Santa needs to be cut some slack.  Hope you all enjoyed a joyous holiday season and that even if it wasn’t the best it was better than nothing as this has been a hard year for many. And though holidays can remind us of pain and loss, they can also provide some closure and reflection to the past. Opening our minds and our hearts to what the new year will bring us.
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